Birdcage
by DucttapedCheshireCat
Summary: Roxas is in a bad relationship. He leaves everything and go to live with his brother he hasn't met in two years to help him cope. A new love and new friends makes thing easier. Yaoi. Rating for abusive themes and maybe boyxboy love later


Huzzah for new projects.

Allright. This is just gonna be a short five parted fic for the allmighty Tiff because she is the best and I luffs her forever.  
("**When tears flows in your eyes, always remember two things; I am here, and I care.**")

i was sitting and plotting to come up with something i could write for her because she was sad, and nothing came. so i started listening to some music to get some nice inspiration. then this plot bunny hit me but it was too big to be a oneshot. so after a lot of schizo debating it became a short multichap.

and so i have been working on this during work when there was nothing to do. and ladeda, today i finished the first part.  
And here it is.  
I don't know when the next part will come, but it'll show up soon hopefully.  
I have another oneshot in mind before i start with Part 2 of this little thing.

**Thanks to:** Fredrika (for editing)

**Dedicated to:** Tiffany, because she is the best there ever was.

**Disclaimer:** I don't own the rights to Kingdom Hearts, nor Pushing me away with Linkin park. THe only thing I do own is a rabid plot bunny and a cute shirt with blue bunnies on it

**Warning:** Yaoi, abusive lovers.

**Pairings: **Various.

**Enjoy!**

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Birdcage

**Part I Pushing me away.**

"Why is it always Naminé!? I swear that you two have something going on!"

I sighed at my beloved boyfriend Saïx.

"Saïx, you know as well as I do that that's not true. It's you I love." He just snorted at my reply.

"Yeah, sure. Go to hell Roxas!" He slammed the front door behind him and left me alone in the apartment, this lonely beautiful birdcage. Even if I knew it would be okay. He often did this. At least he didn't hit me this time. But it still hurt every time we fought; it still made me feel sad.

But he always came back, no matter what he'd done, apologized, said that he loved me, and took care of me, he always said that he only did it because he loved me. And every time I forgave him.

Why shouldn't I?

I deserved every word he threw at me, every punch that came, and besides; I loved him.  
Maybe he was right; maybe I had been hanging out too much with Naminé.

The only thing that always worried me was what if he didn't come back? What would I have been without him?

…

Maybe I could've actually been free. But that didn't matter. I liked my cage; I had someone who loved me. He always confirmed it. It took some time and it hurt but he did it.

But on the other hand; Naminé was my childhood friend. I had the rights to hang with her whenever I pleased; I was a free man. Saïx was just a little over protective, but he still loved me. And I loved him too.

I missed my brother Sora. He had always been able to cheer me up. Didn't matter what circumstances; he just flashed me that sunshine smile of his, said some comforting words and everything seemed allright in the world again.  
Problem was that he lived in the outskirts of Hollow Bastion, while I was stuck out here in Twilight Town.

A few strands of golden hair fell in my face and I blew them away.  
Most of all I wanted Saïx to come back and for him to trust me. We fought a lot and I hated it just as much every time it happened.  
No, I'm stuck here in this golden cage of mine.

I rose from my position on the floor, dusted myself off, dried the tears and walked slowly and with dignity in to the kitchen. I didn't really know why I went in there. It wasn't the fact that I was hungry but I decided to make dinner anyway. After all, the clock was closing six, I hadn't eaten since lunch and hopefully Saïx would come back soon to join me. The pantry was overfull, so instead I decided to clean. God only knew what was in there. Can after can after box after bottle was lined up on the counter and when everything stood there I cleaned the shelves before I checked the dates on everything before throwing the bad stuff (which weren't that much) and placed everything back on it's places.

When everything was done, I took out pasta, canned mushrooms, seasonings, crushed tomatoes, cured ham, cream and some other things to make a nice dinner for me and my love. When the skillet was warm I poured down the mushrooms along with the tomatoes while I chopped the ham which I then also put in there. A song was playing, it might have been just in my head, but it was beautiful and I somehow ended up dancing around in the kitchen while the ingredients were being sautéed. I found a bottle of red wine that I popped opened and poured some in a red wine glass. The cream was poured with some water in the skillet, before I started to boil some water for the pasta. A salad was mixed; bread was placed on the table, set for two. When the water had reached the boiling point I put in some salt before I placed the tagliatellein the pot, set the egg clock, drank some more wine and actually looked forward to when Saïx would get home and see the nice dinner I had prepared for us.

_-30 minutes later_-

I sat alone at the table, second wine glass emptied, dinner cooling off in front of me and Saïx had yet to show up. I poured myself another glass of wine and with a sigh I started to pack away the food. It was a shame, but what could I do? Saïx had yet to show up, I wasn't hungry and the food was getting cold. The bowl, covered in plastic foil, was placed in the fridge and I walked to the living room where I turned on a movie and cuddled up in the corner of the couch with a blanket and my wine glass.

Somewhere in the middle of the movie I fell asleep. It was a light, dreamless sleep. I don't really know for how long I was sleeping, but Saïx woke me up by gently shaking my shoulder.

"Baby..? Are you awake?" A grunt in a half asleep state was the only answer I could give him at that moment.

"Love, listen to me…" My eyelids fluttered open and I met his beautiful gaze. He smiled, stroked my cheek and I knew that this was it. This was the moment he was going to start apologizing.

"I'm sorry baby…" The Fuckin King of Apologies.

"I didn't mean to hurt you. I love you, you know that." No, I didn't know. I just didn't know if I believed him anymore. He had said this so many times that I lost track of counting somewhere along the road. He would say sorry, and then do the same thing all over again. I tilted my head to the side and flashed him a jilted smile.

"Where did we go wrong Saïx?" His eyes took the shape and size of saucers.

"We never went wrong Rox, we're still – " I interrupted him.

"No. Love, can't you see it? You won't allow me to see my friends. I haven't seen my twin in over two years."

"That's only because I care about you. They're not good for you" This made me snap and totally loose my shit. Two years of drained bile, heh, don't mess with me.

"Shut up and don't interrupt me! We **did** go wrong. I don't know where or how but we did. You say you love me and that you care about me, but if you really did, you wouldn't hit me, right? And then you always say you're sorry, you didn't mean it, you only do it because you care about me, but still you go and do it all over again. I'm sorry Saïx, but I just can't take it anymore." Blue filled my vision and arms held me tight, but I just couldn't bring myself to feel sorry for him. I didn't know what was different this time, we always fought but this was it. Here, but not any further. My fingers traced the scar on Saïx's beautiful face.

"I'm sorry love, but this is as far as I can go; I've reached my limit. Tomorrow I'll be gone and I won't come back. No more bitter sugar coated words, no more hurting touches. No more wonderings on whether you'll be coming back or not. I… I… This is over now. There's dinner in the fridge to re-heat and a half full bottle of red wine on the counter. I have some packing to do. I rose, but my every move felt like a zombie's. Robot-like I walked around the small apartment to pack my stuff. It wasn't much, but it was mine. I should've left everything and just run for it, but I figured I would need some things before I went. Saïx just sat on the couch and stared off in to thin space.

Clothes flew around the apartment, but I just couldn't find anything. My mind was blank. Somewhere along the time I think I re-heated the pasta for Saïx and placed the plate in front of him along with a glass of wine. An hour later when all my bags were packed, Saïx walked up to me and stared at me for the longest moment before a punch hit me straight in the gut. He snarled and left the flat. When I collected myself; picked up every last bloody shard of my heart from the dirty floors, I walked to the living room and sank down on the couch. Saïx's plate was still on the table, untouched, mocking me.

For the first time in a very, very long time I allowed myself to cry. But I wasn't sad, at least I don't think I was. I was happy. Because finally I could leave this lonely birdcage, finally I could see my brother for the first time in two years. That's where I'm going to go. I wouldn't miss this place. It was simply tears of joy, I was finally free.

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I'm sorry, I know it's short and a creepy pairing right now, but that will soon change. at the the pairing.  
Hopefully also the lenght.  
Please leave a review, even if it's only a few words.  
(No flames though please xD)

Ems


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